* There’s a wealth of research and knowledge that’s been written on sex and sexual desire
* These six books provide unique views and approaches to the role of sex in your relationship
* Many of them will help you have more fulfilling sexual encounters
According to a survey of sexually active adults, 75% of men reported always reaching climax during sex, while that number for women was only 29%. This isn’t the only way sex differs for men and women – while men are often thought to be blessed with having a higher sex drive, biologically, Testosterone causes physiological desire for both men and women, but it manifests itself in different ways.
For women, arousal and sexual desire is higher during times of infatuation or falling in love and can even be effected by hormonal shifts during her cycle. Even the ways we look at masturbation differ, as over 70% of men under 60 report masturbating semi-regularly, while only slightly more than 50% of women did. Pornography now plays a bigger role in sexuality, as a popular porn sites reported in 2017 a daily average of 75 million unique visitors. Clearly, there’s a lot to learn about sex and sexual desire, especially when it comes to fulfilling your partner’s needs. We’ve rounded up a list of six books that will provide you with meticulously researched, often surprising advice on how to improve your sex life and satisfy your partner.
1. She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
With over 300,000 copies sold, Ian Kerner writes a book that prompted Cosmopolitan to describe it as “every man’s must-read.” It’s an indispensable guide to oral sex, which focuses on how to put the woman’s needs first, and how this will lead to a more enjoyable and fulfilling sex life and, ultimately, relationship.
2. The Guide to Great Sex: How to Get Better in Bed and Take Your Sex Life to the Next Level
While many men have insecurities about their performance in bed, it can be hard to voice those concerns, or to seek help or guidance. This book skips all of the awkwardness and jumps straight to the point. Michael Karp is a former sex columnist, who not only studied human sexuality, but was very open with his readers about his own sex life. He covers a wide range of topics, from toys to positions, and also gives honest advice on how to overcome sexual anxiety.
3. Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure
While you may think you know all you need to know about female arousal and sexual pleasure, Sheri Winston’s book goes deeper and more detailed than you probably ever thought possible. This knowledge could mean the difference between good sex and great sex. Winston is the executive director of a Kingston, NY-based Center for the Intimate Arts, and she combines a lifetime of teaching with scientific and historical research to create this powerful book. Your partner will definitely appreciate the effort.
4. Good Sex: Getting Off Without Checking Out
Sex is not only about the physical connection, it’s also about the emotional connection. Being aligned with your partner in a meaningful, intellectual and even spiritual way can heighten your sexual experience. Jessica Graham’s book focuses on remaining mindful during sex, and the positive benefits this can have, from deeper intimacy to longer-lasting pleasure. Graham’s book is a helpful read if you’re dealing with difficult sexual problems, from non-monogamy to the role of pornography in a relationship.
5. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
This New York Times Bestseller by Emily Nagoski is also a #1 Bestseller in Amazon’s Sex & Sexuality section, and with its combination of new, ground-breaking research and non-judgmental writing, it’s easy to see why. Nagoski takes a deep dive into women’s sexuality, addressing how each women’s sexual needs are different and unique to her, like a fingerprint. It’s a great read as it will open your eyes to factors you may not have thought of before, such as the context in which a sexual experience takes place.
6. Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships
From Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha, this controversial Bestseller takes a critical approach to all the assumptions we make as a society regarding sex, monogamy and relationships. Some of the best reading (and real-life practices) come from challenging the status quo, prompting Newsweek to call Sex at Dawn “a scandal in the best sense” and Illana Glazer praise it as helping her understand “(her)self and the world so much more clearly.” Engross yourself in sexual knowledge your partner will appreciate you have, and you will wonder how you ever lived without.