When You Go Low, They Get High:This Book Gives You The Low Down on How to Keep Your Lady Happy in Bed

She Comes First sex book
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* A sex guide for modern day intimacy
* Because sex isn’t a race, or an Internet comment thread
* Cosmopolitan-approved

Sex education: it’s more than an awkward, uncomfortable class way too few Americans get a decent version of in high school, (and a very highly rated British TV show, which is worthwhile if you get a chance to stream it). It’s also something that should, ideally, keep happening as you move toward fulfillment– pun intended– with your partner(s). With “She Comes First,” author Ian Kerner has given us a sexual “how-to” book for the modern era. Thankfully, it’s free of the objectifying cliches too many men of our time absorbed from men’s interest magazines and internet forums when we were teens. This body positive, female-focused volume gives you plenty of tricks and tips you’ll want to try and which your lady might actually enjoy. But it’s about more than just the tip(s). It’s also an in-depth guide to passionate, intense and multi-orgasmic sex. A “thinking man’s guide to sex,” it has plenty of technical terms and references academic studies, but its prose is never dry. It sheathes the technicalities in plenty of witty, tongue-in-cheek banter.

She Comes First book amazon Image courtesy of Amazon

Importantly, it not only reviews the relevant anatomy and physiology but talks about the experience of arousal, intercourse and consummation as well, reminding guys that “finding the button” is hardly winning the game, and that good sex requires, communication, empathy and understanding as well as a basic knowledge of where things are. A pleasure to read, Kerner’s book draws on an entertaining variety of sources ranging from the iconic Kinsey Reports to modern scientific studies, as well as on the author’s own experience as a sex therapist. One of the particularly interesting, and totally worthwhile, things “She Comes First” brings, is a renewed emphasis on intuitive mutual communication.  The main thrust of his argument in the book is that guys should listen to their partners, and that– surprise– it’s a turn on for women if you actually seem to be aroused and present and enjoying the experience, rather than merely performing. Too many guys act like the first 30 minutes of sex are some weird athletic event, staged for the woman’s “benefit” and to show off how good they are at it, followed by a few more minutes of eyes closed weird grunting where it seems like they’re a thousand miles away. It’s even poetic when it gets into how being a virtuoso at sex isn’t just about hitting the right notes, but embodying the feeling. Hopefully, “She Comes First” will inspire more men to become as fluent in cunnilingus as their native tongue. As Cosmopolitan noted, “tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up “She Comes First.” The book got a “Halleluja” from Playgirl, and it just may help you get a similar review.

  

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