Here Are The Craziest Pool Floaties You Need For The Warmer Seasons Ahead

mermaid float
Image Courtesy Amazon
When you buy something through our retail links, we may earn commission and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

* Crazy pool floaties to keep your summer plans afloat
* Inflate your spirits with these zany choices
* Pool decor ranging from elegant swans to poop emojis

We may still be living under gray clouds in much of the Northern Hemisphere, but warmer weather is not far off. The spring equinox just passed, and while the ancients may have needed to rely on stonehenge to help figure that out, thankfully we have the calendar app, the weather app and any number of smart home devices to tell us where the earth happens to be along its yearly voyage around the sun. Celebrate the warmer seasons ahead with these over-the-top pool floaties you need for your pool parties and days at the beach.

1. Kangaroo Pool Floats Bacon Raft

The donut trend is officially over. This year, it’s all about the bacon. This chaise-lounge is sized at 91,” making it great for lazing in the pool on those sizzling hot days of summer.

[caption id="attachment_110839" align="aligncenter" width="270"]Bacon Float Image Courtesy Amazon[/caption]


2. Poop Emoji Float

Don’t settle for a crappy basic floatie: this giant poop emoji pool float is a great way to encourage the kids away from the keyboard this summer.

[caption id="attachment_110842" align="aligncenter" width="343"]poop emoji float Image Courtesy Amazon[/caption]


3. Mermaid Floatie

The milkshake may bring all the boys to the yard, but this sweet mermaid-tail pool float is perfect for singing a siren song to get people out to the pool. It’s a whole new world of summer fun with crazy pool decor like this.

mermaid float Image Courtesy Amazon


4. Trump Float

Just in case you forgot to drain the swamp in time for a summer or 4th of July pool party, this Donald Trump pool float has you covered.

trump pool float Image Courtesy Amazon


5. Rosé Bottle Float

For all those interminable afternoons where you’ve wanted to literally float on a bottle of Rosé, now you can, with this oddly elegant Rosé bottle float from Urban Outfitters.

rose bottle float Image Courtesy Urban Outfitters


6. Smartphone Floatie

This jumbo smartphone shaped pool floatie makes a great gift for that friend who’s always dropping their phone in the pool.

smartphone float Image Courtsey Amazon


7. Avocado Float

Nothing says summer like ripe avocados and swimming pools. Finally there’s a satisfying way to combine the two.

avocado float Image Courtesy Amazon


8. Cat Floatie

Great for relaxing in the summertime and featuring a cat-design complete with the subtle smirk that cats are known for, this float is a much better companion than well, a wet cat.

cat float Image Courtesy Urban Outfitters


9. Intex Inflat-a-Bull

Take the rodeo on the water with this bucking, inflatable bull. Great for pool parties and BBQ’s, it features a pneumatic wild bull powered by compressed air. See who can ride the longest before taking a dip.

inflate-a-bull Image Courtesy Amazon


10. FUNBOY Swan Floatie

This floral swan floatie turns a pool party into a pool soiree. Cue up your favorite Lana del Rey (or Henri Mancini, or Billy Holiday or Edith Piaf) track and let the elegance ensue.

floral swan float Image Courtesy Urban Outfitters


11. Party Bird Island

Party like a pirate with this giant exotic floating peacock pool island. It has room for six adults so you can bring the whole crew. Wreck of the SS. Minnow not included.

giant pool float party Image courtesy Sam’s Club