* A toilet seat that does more than just sit there
* An upgrade for the throne
* Adjustable settings
Now that so many on the internet have taken the opportunity of the Notre Dame fire and its aftermath to post their– sometimes years old– French vacation albums, many might find themselves once again having nostalgia for that European experience. But while bidet envy affects many Americans after returning from abroad, you don’t have to simply gaze at faded photographs of them and mutter “we’ll always have Paris.” Turns out there are highly advanced removable toilet seats with built-in bidets, and you can even install one in the Western Hemisphere.
If you’re going to upgrade your toilet experience, you might as well get smart about it: this futuristic smart bidet comes with a remote control, a self cleaning, angle-adjustable nozzle with five different pressure settings and it even has a warm air dryer. Your bum will never be so clean, and so well treated. Say goodbye to the barbaric skin irritations and wasted wood pulp of the usual toilet paper routine. The smart bidet toilet seat installs in the place of the standard, inert seat and, while installation is relatively straightforward, you can also request an expert to install it upon delivery, for a true antithesis of the DIY experience. There are some things, no matter your ethic, you may not want to do yourself, after all. Then once it’s up and running, you can use the remote to adjust the angle, water pressure and drying function to your liking. From there, you’re free to enjoy the elegant bathroom experience of a civilized time. If only it were this easy to get a decent baguette or find a reasonably priced coffee house where people hang out all day.