* First dates can be tricky to maneuver
* Follow these rules to make sure you don’t put your foot in your mouth
* Make her want to see you for a second date
If you’ve never been on a bad date, lucky you. The rest of us have had dates go well and others go terribly off the tracks. So what’s the secret to having a successful first date? There really isn’t any one, universally fool-proof formula to 100% guarantee that things will go well, but we are willing to bet that if you follow these five rules, your chances of getting to the second date will greatly increase.
1. Have a Plan
This is crucial. You don’t want to procrastinate until you meet her in town somewhere and ask her where she wants to eat or what she wants to do. That is your job to figure out. Of course, you should ask about any dietary restrictions or preferences to help inform your decision. Women love a man with a plan. Even if you’re trying to come off as the care free guy and you tell her “doesn’t matter to me,” you should still have a plan because acting off the cuff of your sleeve is a dangerous game to play.
You only get one first date and you don’t want it to be associated with an hour-long session of figuring out what to do. My suggestion is to have her meet you at a restaurant and have some activity you can do together planned for afterwards. This can be as simple as a walk together through the park or down the beach, just make time to talk to her. And please god, DO NOT TAKE HER TO A MOVIE. All time worst first date idea. The first date is for getting to know someone, and you can’t speak to her at a movie. Make it memorable enough so that if this relationship does blossom, you can each have pride looking back to your first memories together. This will shine brightly when she tells her friends about you, and trust me, you want her friend’s approval.
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2. Dress Well, But Don’t Over Do It
Many guys mess up before they even get to the date. The trick to dressing well for a first date is loosely based around the occasion and of course climate. You should look comfortable, not like you’re trying to court her for marriage. No suits. Depending on the weather, a pair of jeans and a T-shirt or dress shirt will do just fine. If you’re in a colder climate, then dress with layers. If you’re in a warmer climate, a pair of shorts and a T-shirt will do the trick, but I would stay away from sandals. Some girls are super weird about feet and you don’t want that to be your Achilles heel. Pun intended. Another key factor here is that you don’t want to be more well-dressed than her. She should always be the one who out dresses you and shines brightly because of it. And make sure you let her know how gorgeous she looks.
3. Pay For It
This is a point of contention that always is a sticky area. My suggestion, don’t think twice about it. You should pay for everything you possibly can on the first date. Save up some money and make sure you have double what you anticipate to spend on the date. If you’re running low on cash then you shouldn’t be in the market for a girlfriend anyway. What do you do when she reaches for the check or pulls out her wallet? Insist on paying anyway. Tell her that she can pick up the tab on the next date, but today you want to treat her. This will let her know you’re interested in going on a second date as well as making her associate a feeling free of financial burden with you. It is not about you having a big ego, but more about you acting with good manners. You want to be the one taking her on a date, not her taking you on a date.
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4. Don’t Only Talk About Yourself
You can really put your foot in your mouth by only talking about yourself. I’d say this is probably one of the number one reasons why guys don’t make it to the second date. We get it. You have hobbies and you like sports and want to be this and that when you get older. Awesome, but you shouldn’t be getting into those things unless she is specifically asking you about them. What about her? Ask her about where she is from and about her parents or siblings. If you have anything in common, this is where you can interject and say “oh my parents like to ride motorcycles too” or “yeah, I grew up going to church as well.” The main point of the first date is to see how compatible with her you might be, and drawing these similarities between either your up bringing, values or interests is a great way to start. So, have some questions prepared as conversation starters because there’s no way around those periodic awkward 10 seconds of silence on a first date. Don’t think that means things aren’t going well either, just have some back up questions that your genuinely curious about.
5. Be Confident, Be Yourself
This is, without a doubt, the most important piece of advice one could give you. If you’re not going to be yourself on the first date, then when will she actually get to meet the real you? The third or fourth date? No. It’s okay to not be the coolest person on the planet. She isn’t the coolest girl on the planet. She is human just like me and you. She gets happy, mad, sad and has vulnerabilities just like you. Once you can accept that you have faults and can confidently present yourself without putting too much of a guard up, then you can be very authentic with her. And that’s all she really wants. Someone who is going to be genuine with her and add something to her life. So don’t be nervous, be you.