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Looking for the ultimate understated modern romance retreat for you and bae? Well, then this kitschy love hotel guide is not for you. But if the idea of tacky ‘70s decor and heart-shaped hot tubs get you going, break away from the chaos of your everyday life and indulge in these eye-roll-worthy yet extremely entertaining motels designed with romance in mind. As they say, treat yourself!
Forget your Best Western or your Hilton — these are some delightful alternatives to boring and sometimes stuffy hotel stays and help remind you not to take life so seriously. These couples-only hotels are the best love shacks in the whole country.
As hilarious as they are — and it’s inevitable that you’ll have some giggles — you’ll also have some intimate moments here, and there’s no shame in that. From mirrored ceilings to a 7-foot-tall champagne glass bathtub, we gathered the most NSFW love hotels for you to get your fill of erotic decor.
So if you’ve ever dreamed of taking a bath in a giant champagne glass, or if you’re searching for the best hotels with heart-shaped baths, here are all the best love hotels for you and your boo.
Cove Pocono Resorts
This romantic resort in the Poconos has been known since the ’70s for its massive champagne glass tubs and heart-shaped tubs, a concept the resort claims to have originated. Along with a 7-foot-tall whirlpool champagne flute to bathe in, the Champagne Tower suite comes complete with a glass-enclosed, heart-shaped heated pool, a dry sauna and a round King bed with a starry night sky above. And, of course, plenty of mirrors on the ceiling. Cove Pocono Resorts actually operates several resorts in New York’s Poconos Mountains, just a couple of hours outside of New York City and Philadelphia.
SPY’s Site Director recently visited one of these properites with his sweetheart, and he reported having a delightfully fun weekend — as long as you’re not expecting 5-star amenities (or even 4-stars, really). With plenty of kitsch activities that can be enjoyed with a partner, this is one of the best love hotels in the United States.
The Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, California, is the OG of romance-themed love hotels. With 110 individually themed rooms, there’s no role play fantasy that can’t go down at the Madonna. If you do feel like leaving the room, they also have hot pink athletic courts and live music on site. Get freaky like Fred Flintstone in the animal-print Caveman room, or opt for one of their luxury rooms like the iconic Madonna Suite with its vintage-style pink rose-printed carpet, native rock waterfall shower and a massive fireplace. Their pink shag-infused Love Nest suit is a close second, with a winding staircase that takes you to a private viewing tower.
Greenwood Fanta Suites
You can probably tell from their website that it isn’t the trendiest or most modern hotel — these guys are all about that old-school motel swag, with essentials like a heart-shaped bed complete with radio, speakers and mirrors. The Cupid’s Corner suit is a must-book, and it contains a pretty epic jacuzzi as well. Lastly, the NSFW detail that brought us over the edge is the mirrored ceiling. The other Fanta Suits include the Pink Cadillac room, which features a full-sized vintage pink Caddy, and the Alien Invasion, complete with a flying saucer bed. If anything, it’s a chance to cross a genuinely unique experience off your bucket list in Greenwood, Indiana.
Unlike some love hotels that have been around since the 1970s, the Hicksville Pines is just a decade old. However, the Idyllwild, California, hotel worked hard to recreate that classic retro feel. From a fire engine wooden fireplace to a heart-shaped tub with a golden swan faucet, this room even has a strip of moody lighting surrounding the elevated platform bed. And, of course, there’s wall-to-wall pink shag carpeting. Their offsite pick, Casa Amor, is one of the best love hotels if you’re looking for more of a romantic and intimate cabin experience.
Executive Fantasy Hotels
As its name suggests, the Fantasy Room hotels in Miami have various suites to cater to different fantasies, and it’s not unusual to find sex furniture in your room. Many of their suites feature a pole for some X-rated dancing, disco balls, and patented love chairs to get down and dirty on. The Executive Suite even has a sex chaise to help make Kama Sutra-inspired poses more accessible. Beyond that, they offer a Candle theme, Cave theme and Jungle theme. If you can embrace the atmosphere (and bring some disinfecting wipes), this hotel is a fun place to have some wild adventures or a sexy photoshoot.
Located in New Jersey, the Loop Inn has all the fireplaces and heart-shaped whirlpools. Like the in-demand Cove Pocono Resort, they also have a champagne glass bathtub that you can take selfies in. Known as the Crystal Chalice Champagne Suite, this decadent suite features an oak staircase leading up to a loft bedroom with the infamous champagne Jacuzzi. Another popular choice is the Honeymoon Suite, which comes in variations. Is your thing a room dripping with heart-shaped beds and mirrors? Or perhaps one filled with monumental pillars and a shell-shaped Jacuzzi? Either way, they’ve got your back.
This themed love hotel in New Hampshire is the home of Cupid’s Corner, featuring a heart-shaped tub with jets and underwater lights. The king-sized bed is also heart-shaped, making it a perfect area to Netflix and chill. If the whole lovey-dovey theme isn’t your thing, check out other options, like their Deserted Island suite or Log Cabin. More adventurous choices include the medieval Dragon’s Lair, with a floating round bed, and the Roman Rendezvous suite, which even includes a fiber optic dome on the ceiling that reveals a clear night sky filled with planets and shooting stars. For those traveling with a pet, it’s worth noting that Adventure Suites is dog-friendly.
Black Swan Inn
Profess your love in a space like no other thanks to this regal castle, aka the Romeo and Julio suite. Complete with a balcony and hand-painted murals, you can soak in the oversized heart tub or use the two-headed shower in one of the castle turrets. The other turret leads to the bedroom balcony so you can overlook your kingdom below. If Shakespeare doesn’t sound romantic to you, check out their Arabian Nights suite or Mayan Rainforest — the themes are plentiful and varied.
Sunset Inn & Suites
If you and bae are into some sci-fi role play, you’ll want to check out the Space Odyssey-themed suite at the Sunset Inn and Suites in Clinton, Illinois. Guests can enjoy a glowing triangular whirlpool bath and a cozy latex mattress tucked into the custom-made spaceship bed. The “Raindancer Shower” in the suite has been described as feeling like a masseuse. Their newest fantasy suite, Paradise Beach, transports guests to the Bahamas in a beached boat bed. With a flip of a switch, a gorgeous beach day turns into a beautiful night sky. These suites are modern tech meets retro fab, and we’re all about it.
Located in Dallas, the Hotel ZaZa is another new-era kitsch love hotel, and it’s the perfect blend of retro-tacky and something slightly more upscale. Along with an oversized whirlpool soak bath, the famous Erotica suite is eclectic and filled with sensual materials like velvet, fur and silk Couples can expect to find sexy artwork adorning the walls of the room. With geographical themes like East Indies, West Indies and Out of Africa, the suites are decidedly luxurious and a cleaner, trendier option than some of the more classic love hotels.