Sex is pretty much the best . . . except when it only lasts a minute. Premature ejaculation (PE for short) can be embarrassing for us guys, and downright disappointing for your partner. And to make matters worse, it’s very common: around one in three dudes suffer from early climaxes.
The fact that one-third of men suffer from premature ejaculation might surprise you, but only because men are extremely uncomfortable talking about it. PE also has a wide range of causes, which can make it difficult to treat. Emotional or mental health issues are sometimes the culprit (such as stress, depression and anxiety), but biological roadblocks including abnormal hormone levels may be to blame as well. Also, other sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction, can often lead to or worsen anxiety related to PE.
In this post, we’ll share some common premature ejaculation treatments and breathing techniques you can use to last longer in bed. All of these techniques and treatments might not work for you, but we’re confident something in this premature ejaculation guide will help you learn how to last longer during sex.
What Can You Do About Premature Ejaculation?
Almost all men deal with premature ejaculation when they first start having sex. That’s 100% normal. (Even if some men pretend otherwise.) However, this hair-trigger response usually resolves itself as you gain more experience and confidence in the bedroom.
But what if it doesn’t go away? How can you last longer in bed?
First, try to avoid a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are overly anxious about premature ejaculation, that will affect your confidence before, during and after sex. And that’s a recipe for a bad sexual experience, which will only further erode your confidence.
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Instead, remember that good sex is about so much more than the male orgasm. When you are comfortable and confident, you will have more positive experiences, and your partner(s) will, too.
So before you get too worried about your ability in bed, know that there are solutions. Because PE is such a pervasive issue (and because it affects our favorite thing), there are many effective, safe treatments on the market. These treatments range from supplements to help your mood and blood flow to numbing topicals that delay orgasm. In addition, there are mindfulness and breathing techniques that can help you overcome this problem.
The best way to overcome premature ejaculation is to try a number of different techniques. In an ideal world, you would have a patient and understanding partner that could help you through this process. However, if that’s not the case, try working through these solutions as you masturbate before trying them with a partner.
For instance, here’s one simple technique you can try at home, and one that doesn’t involve any products, topical creams or awkward thoughts about baseball.
To Deal With Premature Ejaculation, First Focus on Breathing and Mindfulness
At the most basic level, being quick on the draw is a problem of getting overexcited. Your body gets stimulated too intensely too quickly. However, sexual response exists as much in the mind as it does in the body. The next time you masturbate, bring focused attention to the way your body and mind are reacting throughout the process.
As you approach orgasm, stop and pay attention to your breathing, the intensity of the physical sensations, and the focus of your mind. You will likely notice that your breathing is becoming much more intense with short, shallow breaths. Likewise, your mind is probably intensely focused on the task at hand as your arousal reaches its peak. At this point, you’re going to try to hit the pause button mentally and physically.
First, take a deep breath in. If it helps, you can try placing your hands out flat in the air in front of you, palms down. As you do, take a step back with your mind.
You will find that your mind is intensely focused on the tactile sensations, fantasies, or visual stimulus that’s arousing you. Instead, become consciously aware of your breathing and your body’s physical reactions pre-orgasm. If you find your thoughts racing, try to be present in the moment. Do you notice a feeling of tightness in your chest? Is your entire body getting tenser? Instead of experiencing these reactions subconsciously as you approach orgasm, learn to notice these signals consciously.
Next, breathe out slowly, and as you do, focus on relaxing your hands, your chest and your entire body. Let your muscles loosen. Take a few more breaths in and out. Focus on returning to a normal breathing pattern rather than on sexual feelings and arousing thoughts. You should feel your body relaxing and pulling back from the brink of orgasm.
By bringing greater awareness to your breathing and your body’s physical reactions during sexual activity, you can begin to exert greater control over these responses. Essentially, this breathing exercise is a form of biofeedback training.
Remember, you can do this! Think happy thoughts.
PE Treatments to Help You Last Longer in Bed
There are a few common types of premature ejaculation treatments, and we’ve listed our favorites below. These fall into a few primary categories:
- Desensitizing sprays which contain a local anesthetic like lidocaine
- Supplements designed to improve sexual health holistically
- Condoms with numbing lubrication
- Cock rings that control blood flow, leading to longer-lasting erections.
As you practice the breathing exercise described above, you should also explore these types of premature ejaculation treatments. Because this is such a common problem, there are a variety of products men can use to delay orgasm. You should talk to your doctor about drugs containing sildenafil, so we aren’t focusing on those types of prescription medications here. However, don’t be afraid to have this conversation with your doctor. We promise, he or she has heard this complaint countless times before.
You can even consider using some of the best male sex toys during masturbation to train yourself at home when not in sexual situations that include partners. A lot of the best male sex toys in 2021 are becoming very, very realistic-feeling. If you get one that feels similar to the real thing, you might be able to edge yourself longer, in turn helping you stay in the zone when it’s time for the actual deed.
Finally, remember to be patient with yourself! Anxiety, bitterness and self-recrimination are not helpful emotions to bring into the bedroom. Premature ejaculation is a common problem, and it takes time to overcome it. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
To help you last longer in bed, we’ve rounded up some of the best premature ejaculation treatments available today. These products include natural supplements, desensitizing lubricants and other affordable, safe treatments to help you last longer in bed.
1. hims Premature Ejaculation Spray
BEST OVERALL TREATMENT FOR PE
hims is a new name in the male wellness space, but this company is aggressively earning a name for itself with high-quality products designed for men. The company has a wide range of top-rated products, but they make one of the best treatments for premature ejaculation in particular.
This premature ejaculation spray is formulated with lidocaine, a common local anesthetic that is absorbed by the skin. By naturally desensitizing your penis, you can delay orgasm and enjoy longer lovemaking. According to hims, “Studies have shown men to last 64% longer when using this spray,” which surely makes this one of the best premature ejaculation treatments money can buy. It should be applied 5-10 minutes before you get in bed with your partner. If you want to last longer in bed, this is an effective and valuable tool to have at the ready. Plus, it comes in discrete packaging, so you won’t have to worry about nosey neighbors.
2. Trojan Extended Pleasure Control Condoms
BEST CLIMAX CONTROL CONDOMS
Climax control condoms like these ones from Trojan help you last longer without any extra products. They integrate a special lube on the inside that slightly numbs your downstairs (don’t worry — sex will still feel great), allowing you to last longer in bed, while the outside of the condom has normal lube. Users say the stuff really works as a solid premature ejaculation treatment, helping them go much longer than normal (one reviewer even recommends keeping some extra lube handy).
3. RingO Pro 3-Pack
BEST RINGS FOR BEGINNERS
Gay men and fans of BDSM might be more familiar with penis rings than your average straight male, but these simple tools can be a great solution for any man struggling with premature ejaculation problems. By trapping blood inside your erect penis, these rings help you maintain an erection and have longer sex. This three-pack from Babeland contains three different sizes so you can experiment until you find the right fit. The stretchy silicone rings will wrap securely around your member, and they could become your new secret weapon in the bedroom.
4. Roman Swipes
BEST WIPES
Unlike hims and other topical sprays, Roman Swipes come in discrete, single-use packages. Don’t act so surprised, you’ve heard ’em all over your favorite podcasts — especially if you’re an OG member of the #DaddyGang. For real, we can quite literally hear Alex Cooper’s voice saying, “Roman Swipes is the best premature ejaculation treatment out there.”
These wipes contain 4% benzocaine, another common local anesthetic. Simply apply these wipes to your penis five minutes before you get busy, wait for any remaining liquid to dry, and enjoy! These wipes are highly portable and disposable, which means you can slip them in your wallet or Dopp kit as needed. Plus, Roman makes it easy to order these online, and you can rest assured your shipment will arrive quickly with discreet packaging. In short, if you’re searching for a discreet, fast-acting and portable male genital desensitizer, you can’t beat Roman Swipes.
5. Premature Ejaculation Goodbye
BEST BOOK
While lubes, sprays and supplements can be a quick fix for PE, some guys might need more help. This book takes a more holistic approach to premature ejaculation treatment, helping you manage emotions, bodily responses and, eventually, your own orgasm. The book promises to help guys up their stamina to 60 minutes in 60 days, and happy customers say it’s truly a “game-changer.”
6. Nature’s Craft Horny Goat Weed
BEST HORNY GOAT WEED SUPPLEMENT
Horny goat weed is a widely-used sexual supplement that effectively increases blood flow, leading to less erectile dysfunction, more stamina, and, most importantly, more confidence in the bedroom. We recommend this bottle from Nature’s Craft because it’s enhanced with other ingredients to boost sex drive including maca root, ginseng and saw palmetto. Take two capsules in the morning and you’ll start feeling more energized in just a few days.
7. NatureBell Zinc Vitamin
BEST ZINC SUPPLEMENT
This natural supplement from NatureBell contains equal parts of zinc and vitamin C — two key nutrients for regulating your hormone production. There’s a scientifically established link between zinc deficiency and sexual dysfunction, as zinc is a major factor in testosterone production. More testosterone can help with sex issues from bad libido to ED, but zinc, in particular, has been shown to make guys last longer in bed. It also serves as an overall immune system booster, which just adds further value outside of the fact that it’s one of the best premature ejaculation treatments in 2021.
8. K-Y Duration Male Spray
ALSO CONSIDER
K-Y is famous for making some of the best sexual lubricants, and the company also makes high-quality premature ejaculation sprays. It slightly desensitizes you downstairs, increasing the time until ejaculation. For best results, give your penis five to seven sprays 5-15 minutes before intercourse. Allow it to dry and then wipe off any excess. Also, be sure to wash it off afterward. Like the hims spray featured above, the active ingredient in this spray is lidocaine — which is essentially the best ingredient for premature ejaculation treatment.
9. Extra Strength L-Arginine
BEST L-ARGININE SUPPLEMENT
Another supplement that’s great for all bedroom-related problems is L-Arginine. It promotes better blood flow while improving your mood and energy, which could all be to blame for an early finish or ED. Take up to two capsules a day with breakfast and lunch.
10. Promescent Desensitizing Delay Spray
AMAZON’S CHOICE
Promescent is another great spray for PE. It comes very highly-rated with hundreds of five-star reviews and an “Amason’s Choice” award. Users say it not only made them last longer but also didn’t affect the pleasure felt by their partner. To use this numbing spray, apply three sprays around 10 minutes before the act occurs.
11. Edge Delay Gel
BEST ALTERNATIVE TO LIDOCAINE SPRAYS
Edge’s climax-delaying gel utilizes all-natural ingredients including ginkgo biloba leaf extracts, horny goat weed and jojoba oil. This makes it safe to use with a condom, and also doesn’t give it a gross taste like some PE topicals. Plus, it won’t leave a greasy residue or stains on your sheets thanks to its all-natural formula. Plus, the tube itself is super small and discreet, meaning you can keep it on your person or toss it in a Dopp kit without hassle. However, be sure to give yourself a bit of time before you do the deed, as it needs about 30 to 40 minutes to really begin working effectively, making it a little less of an “in the moment” form of premature ejaculation treatment.
12. hims Sildenafil
BEST SILDENAFIL MEDICATION
Erectile dysfunction is often to blame for premature ejaculation. When most of your sexual experiences begin with an inability to get an erection, your confidence will fall, which is often the main culprit behind male performance issues. If you think that might be the case for you, we highly suggest Hims sildenafil. It’s the active, FDA-approved ingredient in drugs like Viagra that will help you get — and keep — an erection until both you and your partner are satisfied. It’ll make you more confident, leading to the peace of mind needed to last longer. Remember that this medication does require a prescription, and you can arrange a consultation on the hims website.
13. Pau Yuen Tong Delay Balm
BEST BALM
This old Chinese balm looks like it was handcrafted during the Shang Dynasty. This age-old product uses natural ingredients such as ginseng, cloves, brandy, aloe wood, aromatic oils and 95% petroleum jelly to keep your member going and going and going, ensuring you’ll give nothing but pleasure to your partner the entire time. It will help you hold off blowing your load for much longer than you might think, just check out the Amazon reviews in which people quite literally rave about it. Just make sure you follow the included instructions and keep in mind — a little bit of this stuff goes a long way.
14. Pleasure Works Ahoy Ring
BEST PENIS RING UPGRADE
The best premature ejaculation treatments come in many shapes and sizes. And penis rings are a helpful bang for your buck when it comes to both pleasure for your partner and for lasting longer during sex. Unlike topical numbing agents, penis rings actively restrict blood from flowing away from your penis, helping you to sustain an erection for longer. That will leave you with a longer-lasting and stronger erection. This version from Pleasure Works has a slightly ribbed texture, which will add a little bit of spice for your partner when it comes down to actually doing the deed.