We hope you’ve been making the most of the lockdown. And by “making the most” we absolutely mean enjoying some uninterrupted alone time with your partner. And that often means calling in some outside enhancement in the form of the best sex toys.
But what if your hidden toy chest is empty, or you don’t have one? Most of the brick-and-mortar purveyors of such wares are possibly still locked down. Or maybe you’re worried about bumping into your boss, or your ex or a family member at one? Yeah, there are websites that specialize in sex toys, and many of them are quite good. But what about Ol’ Reliable itself, Amazon?
Most of the top sex-toy companies — Lelo, WeVibe, Liberator, and others — aren’t found here. You might locate a couple of items from Tenga and Fleshlight, but even without those sexual sluggers in the lineup, Amazon is a great go-to resource for hot toys. And you want to talk about nondescript packaging? Everyone has Amazon boxes and packages arriving on a daily basis, and nobody has to know what’s inside.
Whether you’re still locked down with your quarantine plus-one, looking to restock the secret stash of joy toys, or in full-on summer rutting mode, the best sex toys on Amazon are no different than anything else on Amazon: They’re all just one click away.
1. Umania G Spot Bullet Vibrator
Ah, the magic bullet. Small (3 inches by .78 inches), easily concealable, crazy powerful and useful in so many ways and places. With 10 modes of vibration controlled by a single button, the bullet delivers serious stimulation to any sensitive tissue it’s applied to. Great for couples play, or just as a gift for her to sneak into her purse or pocketbook in case your sexting powers have her in dire need of some sudden alone time. It’s also USB-rechargeable, so no batteries needed. At $13.99, buy two as a couple’s gift. Hard to beat this sex toy on Amazon.
2. Paloqueth Rabbit Vibrator
It’s all about the ears. Rabbit vibrators have become so popular because of those earlike appendages which hit her right on the clitoris to bring forth those toe-curling orgasms. Ears aside, the main shaft is silky smooth and designed with a curve in order to hit those elusive pleasure spots deep inside. The Paloqueth is also totally waterproof, so she can have a truly special bath, and is also almost completely silent so you can both indulge in total secrecy no matter where or when.
3. Treediride Vibrating Male Masturbator Cup
BEST FOR GUYS
There are times when Rosie and her four sisters get repetitious. Give them the night off and call in the pocket pussy. Unless you have a bionic hand with 10 different strong vibration modes, this vibrating cup will get you off far better than doing it yourself. The 3D-textured tunnel gives you full tight contact the whole way down, and with a full USB charge, you can pump away for a full 90 minutes. The interior is also removable and waterproof for easy cleaning.
4. Tenga Easy Beat Egg Male Masturbator
MOST DISCRETE FOR MEN
Self-love also comes in smaller packages. We’re talking about the Tenga Easy Beat Egg Male Masturbator. This is a revolutionary little addition to your spank bank — a small, single-use masturbation tool. Open the egg and the super-textured interior made of stretchable, pliant material is revealed. It stretches and conforms to all sizes and shapes. Add the enclosed pouch of lube, and the tactile interior combined with your own motion will give you a thunderous finish. It’s the ideal travel toy, fitting nicely into your Dopp kit. And at just over six bucks per egg, why just one for the road? Buy a six-pack and have truly happy travels!
5. Phanxy Rechargeable Waterproof Couples Vibrator
TOY FOR TWO
Now here’s a super versatile little toy. For starters, insert the smaller arm inside her vagina, and leave the larger arm outside, resting on her clitoris. When you slide in it increases the contact on both ends, and you get the benefit of the vibrations at the same time. It’s an incredible feeling for you both, and yet somehow it’s just the most basic thing this can do. It also has a wireless remote control, so you can sit back and control the action. It’s also completely waterproof, both for washing or for any watersports you may want to indulge in. USB-rechargeable, small, portable and exceptionally powerful. That basic first use will have you wanting to run through the entire vast playbook as soon as possible.
6. Luxeluv Ultra Soft Bendable Rechargeable Vibrator
BUILT TO PLEASE
No two people are built the same, inside or out. Yet so many vibrators and dildos are rigid and inflexible. What may work for one person could be a total dud for another. This is why the flexibility of this Luxeluv bendable vibrator makes it such a great buy. The body is mainly made of liquid silicone, making it feel incredibly lifelike and flexible. Whatever interior contours or hard-to-reach erogenous spots someone may have, chances are pretty great the Luxeluv can be finessed and shaped to reach them. But as pliant and smooth as the body is, it’s also powered by a tungsten stainless steel motor that delivers deep and the ultra-soft exterior adds to the amazing sensation.
7. Treediride Wearable Vibrator
There’s nothing about the Treediride Wearable Vibrator that does not encourage absolute boundary-pushing naughtiness. The longer end goes inside her, with the curved and bulbed end designed to target her G-spot. The textured short end rests on her clitoris. It stays easily in place. And you hold the remote control, anywhere up to 15 to 25 meters away, and you have 10 different vibration frequencies at the push of a button to send her into a frenzy. Or, if you’re in public, in a state of ecstasy that she has to somehow hide. It’s almost diabolical how much potential for fun this presents. It’s made of silk-smooth silicon, and is USB-rechargeable, with over an hour of vibration packed into each full charge.