The Complete Guide to Hiding & Getting Rid of an Unwanted Erection

How to get rid of boner
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Our man-parts get excited all on their own from time to time. It’s perfectly natural, but if we’re around other people, such as at work or with friends, that excitation can be embarrassing. That’s right — we’re talking about an unwanted boner.

Erections can pop up at seemingly random times. It happens more to teenagers going through puberty, but the problem of surprise stiffies is something most men deal with at some point in life.

First, while this may seem like a humorous topic, unwanted erections can actually be deadly serious. If you’re reading this with a painful erection or an erection that’s lasted more than four hours, go see a doctor immediately. An erection that lasts four hours or more is a medical condition called priapism. These persistent and sometimes very painful erections are no joking matter, as they can lead to side effects like permanent erectile dysfunction as the tissues in your penis are damaged.

Seriously, those commercials telling you to call your doctor if you have an erection that lasts more than four hours aren’t joking around.

So How Do You Get Rid of an Unwanted Erection?

Priapism can be caused by some prescription drugs. In addition to erectile dysfunction medication like Viagra, priapism is also a known side effect of many common antidepressants. In addition, blood disorders like sickle cell anemia can cause this condition.

However, if you believe that sexual arousal or frustration is at the root of your problem, then masturbating is a perfectly natural way to solve the problem. If that fails to resolve the situation, or if masturbation is not possible, then you need to find another solution.

Sometimes, simply reading about what happens when you go to the emergency room with priapism is enough to rectify the situation. For instance, one common emergency treatment involves inserting “a large-bore biopsy needle…through the glans penis into the [erectile tissue].” Less gentle approaches involve using a surgical scalpel to dissect the penile tissue. For a particularly graphic representation of these procedures, visit the following link at your own peril [Editor’s Note: this link contains graphic images: click here to view]. If looking at these diagrams doesn’t get rid of your unwanted erection, then you should definitely call a doctor.

While these treatments may seem extreme, the alternative may be a lifetime of erectile dysfunction.

More Strategies for Hiding and Resolving Unwanted Erections

If you don’t believe your situation is a medical emergency and you still want to learn how to get rid of a boner, then keep reading. For erections that have not lasted more than several hours and don’t cause severe pain, gentler approaches may be appropriate.

However, adult men should not be suffering from uncontrollable or unwanted erections on a regular basis. If this is happening to you often, you should also talk to a doctor or therapist to find out what’s going on. Are you okay, man? There’s no shame in talking about your problems with a professional.

But if you just need to get rid of an erection fast, don’t worry: there’s plenty of surefire ways to calm down your Johnson. Read on to learn how to get rid of boners.

1. Hide it

man hiding erection Courtesy of Shutterstock

The first thing to do with an unwanted erection? Hide it. Tuck it in your waistband if you can manage the adjustment without attracting attention to yourself. You can also find a seated position that hides the wood (such as the classic one leg over the other) or, if you’re standing, put your hands in your pockets and make fists to hide the bulge.

  

2. Think of Something Else

man thinking at work Courtesy of Shutterstock

Many unwanted hard-ons are caused by sneaky sexual thoughts or visual stimulation. If that’s the case with your situation, try diverting your thoughts. One good method is to do math in your head. It doesn’t have to be calculus — simple arithmetic will do — but try to make it difficult enough that you’ll be sufficiently distracted. You can also think about any pressing matter in your life, such as bills, upcoming tests, stressful events and so on. Lastly, there’s the age-old trick of thinking about someone who’s… well… not your idea of boner-inducing.

  

3. Urinate

man peeing with boner Courtesy of Shutterstock

Fun fact: a full bladder pushes against the sacral nerve, which causes an erection. This is the main reason why men wake up with boners (a.k.a. morning wood). Try to go pee, and it could very likely go down.

  

4. Distract Yourself

man on phone Courtesy of Shutterstock

If your thoughts can’t be controlled, do something that will distract you. Take out your phone and check emails, watch a YouTube video or research World War II on Wikipedia. You can also start doing something like cleaning.

  

5. Get it Cold

man in shower cold Courtesy of Shutterstock

Giving your soldier a cold shock will usually make the erection disappear. The best method is a cold shower You can also grab a cold drink from the fridge and inconspicuously rest it on your lap. Lastly, try an ice pack.

  

6. Exercise

man doing pushups at work Courtesy of Shutterstock

It’s basic science: boners are caused by blood flow to your penis. Divert that blood elsewhere by doing some light exercise such as pushups, jumping jacks or taking a walk.  This will bring blood to your muscles and away from your member.

  

7. Self-Stimulation

If your erection is really stubborn, sneak off to the bathroom and give it what it wants: relief. It’s certainly not the easiest solution in every situation, but it’s also the most effective. Also, frequent unwanted hard-ons might be a sign that you need to self-pleasure more often.

  

8. Be Prepared

There are steps to prepare for the next time you’re struck by a surprise hard-on. Tight underwear will keep your penis against your leg, which should sufficiently hide it from public view. These Adidas athletic underwear are a great option, offering a snug fit that’s not too tight. Plus, they’re great for any kind of exercise with moisture-wicking fabric and a no ride-up leg.

tight boxers adidas Courtesy of Shutterstock

  

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