Single this Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, my friend, a number of us are this year. Date night’s a no-go, but there’s no reason you shouldn’t treat yourself with a nice bottle of whiskey and a box of the best chocolate money can buy, even if it is just you and your lonesome. But, when it’s about that time you’d normally get a little bit of love under the covers, this year we’re suggesting you don’t just settle for your hand this time around. Instead, get off with a masturbator for men and transform your solo sesh into something you’ve never experienced before.
There is a running stigma surrounding masturbators for men, and more generally, male sex toys of all kinds, that needs to be dropped. No, owning a masturbator for men doesn’t make you a basement-dwelling loser that can’t get any. Instead, using a male masturbator means you’re a master of self-care. Heck, even if you’re in a relationship, you know you’re still gonna pleasure yourself on the side, no? Why not make it feel even better than it already does? Seems like a no-brainer to us.
While you might already be familiar with pocket pussies and Fleshlights, there are a number of masturbators for men on the market today. Some bigger, some smaller, some more technologically advanced and some with fewer frills. Depending on your own needs and priorities, male masturbators are going to differ.
Finding the best masturbator for you can be challenging, especially when there are so many places to buy sex toys online. Some of our favorite sites for scoping out the scene include Lovehoney, Adam & Eve and, Lelo and, of course, Amazon. All of these sites offer discrete packaging too, so whoever you’re living with will never know what’s coming in the mail.
To help you get started, we’ve searched the internet to find the best masturbators for men the world has to offer, all varying in a wide range of sizes, designs and prices. Now, let’s get to it. From ridiculously-advanced blowjob machines to simple strokers, these are the sex toys for you.
1. Fleshlight Turbo Thrust Blow Job Masturbator
Ah, Fleshlight. One of the greatest sex toys of all time. This blow job masturbator mimics the sensations of oral sex, and it will have your toes curling in just a matter of minutes. It has a see-through design so you can enjoy watching yourself as your member slides in and out of the textured canal. There are three design points included inside that act as the lips, tongue and throat, respectively, and thus offering an all-in-one alternative to whatever you’ve been doing with that hand. It’s probably the most realistic, non-electronic masturbator for men on the market, and we highly suggest it.
2. Lovehoney Reversible Double Stroker Intense Ticklers
Get stroking with this beyond easy-to-use reversible male masturbator that will bring your orgasms to a whole new realm of pleasure. This extra-stretchy 5.75-inch tube expands far enough to fit your whole member no matter what you’re packing. It’s also completely see-through so you can watch everything that’s going on. It only needs a little bit of water-based lube for some thrilling solo play. For just $17, it simply doesn’t get any better than this.
3. Tenga Zero Flip Hole Luxury Male Masturbator
BEST WITH SUCTION
Go the extra mile and snag the Tenga luxury male masturbator to experience pleasure like you never have before. With stimulating nibs, ripples and bumps coating the inside, your dick will be completely encased in a tube that will simply get better and better with each pump. It’s finished with a strong vacuum at the end of the device which reviewers deem incredible and unlike any other male masturbator you’ve used in the past. Lastly, the Tenga Zero Flip Hole makes cleanup effortless due to an open-up design that allows you to get every nook and cranny.
4. Arcwave Ion Pleasure Air Smart Silence Male Masturbator
Take your solo sessions into the bath with the Arcwave Ion Pleasure Air, simply because you can. This male masturbator is entirely submergible, so you can use it just about anywhere. It has a modern, sleek design that is built to pleasure your peen the same way a vagina would by hitting all those super-sensitive nerves you often miss when masturbating with your hand. It has a 65-minute run-time and charges relatively quickly so you can get back in the game if you plan on edging for a while. Use it with some good-quality water-based lube and you’ll have yourself a new best friend in no time.
5. The Girl Next Door Stroker
BEST POCKET PUSSY
The pocket pussy is a classic, if poorly named, male sex toy. This frill-less, effortless male masturbator will get you off no question but doesn’t come with a number of the qualities modern-day male masturbators too. It’s simply a super-tight tube meant to look like the girl next door you’ve been crushing on since high school. It feels like your first time each time you use it, but aside from that, what you see is what you get. Use a little bit of water-based lube for this baby and get going. It even opens on the other side for an extra-easy clean. This stroker goes for $20, but right now, use code TAKE45 at checkout and get it for just $11.
6. Lovehoney Head Master Vibrating Blow Job Stroker
If you’re looking for the straightforward male masturbator design with a little bit of extra added flair, stop here. You’ve found it. This blow job stroker is your open-ended penis sleeve with a twist: it’s complete with a vibrator to pleasure yourself from tip to shaft. Stroke after stroke with a little bit of water-based lube will feel almost like the real thing. At just $20, it seems almost too good to be true.
7. Fleshlight Pink Lady Original
The classic Fleshlight. Ah, the good old days. You’ll never forget that time you scrounged together some cash and purchased this baby at Spencer’s when you were still a teenager. How could you forget? Well, the original Pink Lady feels just as good now as it did back then. The design is everything you remember. No grooves or anything, just a straightforward, tight tube with strong suction. Go at it for a matter of minutes or hours on end, the choice is yours.
8. LELO F1s Developer’s Kit Red
Yeah, we’ve mentioned a number of blowjob-esque masturbators for men so far, but nothing compares to the LELO F1s Developer’s Kit. This toy is so powerful, so bone-chilling, so goosebump-giving that your body won’t even know how to react. Every single inch of your penis will experience pleasure because the machine quite literally works and feeds off of your experience using Cruise Control™ and LELO’s revolutionary SenSonic™ technology. Connect this baby to the LELO app and really go to town with customization features. Hey, maybe even give your login information to someone else and have them control your entire experience.
9. Tenga Easy Beat Egg Male Masturbator
BEST NEW EXPERIENCE
Behold: the Tenga Easy Beat Egg set. It doesn’t look like your average masturbator for men, but boy, do these tiny eggs pack a punch. Each egg is filled with a reusable, stretchable elastomer that will fit right over your dick for a masturbation session you’ll never forget. This is a variety pack that features 6 different options, including wavy, clicker, spider, twister, stepper and silky. Try ’em all out and see which you like best. Lube’s included here, but using a little extra will never hurt either.
10. Autoblow A.I.
BEST AUTO INTELLIGENCE
As you’ve seen world of male masturbators has come quite a long way in the past couple of years, but nothing’s milking you the way the Autoblow will. This otherworldly, batshit crazy, house-shaking toy has changed the way guys think about sex toys. You may have seen the ads for this device on popular porn tube sites, so why not treat yourself? The creators of this high-tech masturbator studied over 1,000 hours of blowjob footage to create the most realistic BJ you will ever get from a male sex toy. It’s 100% fucking weird, we’re not going to lie, but lord have mercy — this is it. The toy of all toys.
Also Consider: Aneros Vice 2 Silicone Prostate Massager
BEST ANAL STIMULATOR
While you’re searching for the best male masturbators, why not go one step further. The majority of male sex toys are meant to stimulate your dick, but that ain’t the case with the Aneros Vice 2 prostate massager. And, let’s make things clear: enjoying a little bit of prostate stimulation doesn’t make you gay, fellas. Unless, of course, you’re already gay. The prostate is essentially the G-spot of the male body, so don’t you dare knock it ’til you try it, and if you’re going to try it, this prostate massager a great option for anal newbies. It has 18 different vibration modes and 4 speeds to choose from depending on how crazy you’re trying to get. (Just don’t forget to bring some lube.) Included, you’ll also get a remote control for easy mode-changing.