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It’s officially October, which means it’s time for things to get spooky.
We’re about to enter that wonderful time of year between summer and winter where the air gets crisp, leaves begin to fall, the days get shorter and, more importantly, the nights get longer. Halloween is in a month, so it’s time to start planning your costume and getting out your Halloween decorations. The truth of the matter is that you can carve pumpkins and set up 12-foot skeletons all you want, but try as you might, your haunted house will be more kitsch than killer.
What can you do if you really want to get spooky? There’s only one way to do it. Order a haunted doll off eBay.
Yes, you can purchase haunted dolls on eBay. The trade Haunted dolls are children’s dolls that are allegedly possessed by a spirit. Unfortunately, we can’t personally verify whether any particular product listing is actually inhabited by a spirit from beyond. Even so, the thought of a cursed haunted doll in your home is mildly terrifying, whether you believe in ghosts or not. They fall under the “Psychic & Paranormal” and “One of a Kind Gothic & Horror Dolls” categories on eBay, because of course they do. Some sellers claim their haunted dolls are possessed by nice spirits, but others are rated “expert only” (expert at what??? we’re not sure), and all of them are sure to amp up the scary vibes in your house by at least a few notches.
We’ve rounded up a few eBay haunted dolls below that are worth checking out. Keep in mind that, just like any product you order from the infamous resell retailer, the product descriptions’ claims are not guaranteed. Although in this case, that might be a good thing.
Haunted Active Dolls Paranormal Abandoned Farm House Find
As the name suggests, this doll was found along with several others in an abandoned farmhouse along the Kankakee River in Illinois. They were all found in a child’s bedroom, along with many other possessions. Where did the owners go? It doesn’t say. All we know is the locals apparently “talk of much history with activity in this house.”
She’s described as a “fancy lady” and is about 20 inches long. Her eyes open and shut when she’s “laid down to rest,” and I probably won’t sleep tonight after reading this description a few times. Yikes. She costs $47.00.
Jewel Haunted Doll
Jewel is 16 years old (the doll, the spirit is much older) and is described as “very friendly” and “bonds quickly.” Don’t ask us what that means, we’re not sure. Her “vessel” is 15 inches tall and she apparently died of tuberculosis in 1821. She’s described as a “welcoming spirit” to other spirits, pets and children in the house, and also likes to go into childrens’ bedrooms at night to check and see if they’re okay. Okay. She’s $70.00 which, for that level of protection, is frankly a bargain.
Mystery Cursing Doll
This haunted doll is described as a “cursing doll” that can bring misfortune to your enemies. Got anyone you absolutely hate? This could be a great gift. This seller has 15 available that can “cause harm to the ones that you target.” Ominously vague to the max. They’re apparently designed to not harm the owners who they bond with, but harm the people who do you wrong. Sounds like a pretty foolproof system to me. The actual image of this doll is too scary to include in the piece, so I’ve swapped in a similar image.