Skip to main content

The Entitled Millennial’s Guide To Blowing $10,000 Now That Your Student Loans Are Cancelled

Yesterday, President Biden made it official. Thousands of millennials and Gen Z college grads will see $10,000 of federal student loans disappear. Just like that. Thanks, Daddy. ❤️

If you’re anything like me, you’re in debt from at least four years of college. It wasn’t all drinking games and all-nighters, sadly. Movies lie. They don’t talk about the crippling amount of debt you’ll have to carry. Or the hangovers.

Thankfully, if you’ve been worrying about how you’ll make your college loan payments once they restart after this MUCH needed break due to the pandemic, Joe Biden is canceling $10,000 worth of federal loans once and for all. And, for that, I can finally say I love him. If this is what voter bribery looks like, then bring it on!

The decision has proven to be extremely controversial, but no amount of Boomer complaining is going to stop entitled young people like me from being as fiscally irresponsible as we want. And that’s got us thinking: what the hell are we going to blow all of this money on? Since there’s no chance in hell most of us will ever be able to buy a home or retire, why not live it up?

If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s digging into the wildest corners of the internet and finding products I can’t help but fall in love with. For this piece, I’m looking at only high-ticket must-haves. So if you’re looking for some shopping inspo, here is what to spend $10,000 on now that you basically have it in the bank.

1. Brunello Cucinelli Drawstring-Hooded Bomber Jacket

Fall is just around the corner, can we interest you in a new bomber jacket?

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of Farfetch

  

2. Cartier Tank Louis 18k Yellow Gold Brown Strap Watch

Maybe a watch?

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of 1st Dibs

  

3. Steal Iron Slab Blocks

Or, of course, some steel iron slab blocks?

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of eBay

  

4. Hermes Rose Tyrien 30 Candy Birkin Bag

Or, the Barbiecore trend is so in right now. You’ll just need around $9,000 more for this pink Birkin bag!

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of 1st Dibs

  

5. Coin Quarter Pusher Machine

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your coin quarter pusher machine.

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of eBay

  

6. Chanel Gardenia

Let’s face it. You’re nothing without $17,000 perfume.

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of Chanel

  

7. Gucci Aria Jacquard Cape

Not all heroes wear capes. But rich people (like us, now) do.

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of Net-A-Porter

  

8. European Bison/Wisent Buffalo Taxidermy Shoulder Mount

Pets are too much work. This European Bison is so much more worth it.

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of eBay

  

9. Rick Owens Lunar Tractor Leather-Trimmed Shearling Boots

If you want some money left over, these are cheap if you aren’t afraid of looking too poor.

Lazy loaded image
Courtesy of Mr. Porter

  

10. Plastic Surgery

Need we say more? Instant slay.

Lazy loaded image
Image Licensed From Adobe

  

11. An Iconic Movie Prop

Yeah, baby.