Not satisfied with your office coffee machine‘s morning cup of joe? Are Starbucks espresso shots making you fall asleep at your desktop? Are you tired of stepping foot into your local Dunkin’ because well, it’s Dunkin’? (And we say that with all due respect, Boston.)
Your morning pick-me-up is supposed to pick you up, so why does it constantly feel like it’s letting us down?
We don’t know about you, but most coffee we’re drinking nowadays feels like it’s keeping us as braindead as we are when we hear our alarms go off in the morning. Especially for those finally back in the office, the transition from working from home to working at the desk again is a bigger transition than we were anticipating. Our once beloved morning cup of coffee is just not doing the job pre-pandemic. We need something stronger. Much, much stronger.
Introducing: Death Wish. And yes, after this year, we have one.
Death Wish is notorious for being the strongest ground coffee on the market. The legal market, that is. It’s so intense that if it isn’t the strongest cup of coffee you’ve ever had, Death Wish promises a refund with no questions asked.
You might be wondering, if this is the strongest ground coffee on the market, why not just stop kidding yourself and do cocaine what does it taste like? We were thinking that too. Yeah, we want strong coffee, but nobody wants to wake up in the morning and drink a cup of coffee with the consistency and taste of mud.
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Fortunately, you don’t need to worry. Death Wish is a dark roast coffee that uses both arabica and robusta beans for strength and taste. Each freshly brewed cup has a delicious, never bitter flavor with subtle notes of chocolate and cherry. It’s smooth-tasting and never feels too overwhelming, but at the same time, you can still tell that this stuff is strong as hell. Death Wish hits a happy medium by blending strength and flavor by putting them both in the forefront.
The coffee is also made to be 100% natural. There are zero additives or ingredients, so you can be sure you’ll know exactly what’s going into your cup of coffee — pure, strong as hell, high-quality coffee beans. That’s it.
Wondering if this stuff is actually even legal? We aren’t supposed to say. Just kidding. Each bag is USDA Certified Organic and Fair Trade, so you’re not partaking in any black market BS that can get you sent to prison. Although you might be asking for a Death Wish, we promise, this stuff won’t kill you.
You can get yourself one 1lb bag, two 1 lb bags or even a 5lb bag for yourself right on Amazon. Only own a Kuerig? Don’t worry, they sell K-cups, too. And with that all being said, we promise you just found your favorite new cup of coffee. You’re welcome.