Sometimes the best gifts are totally useless. Sure, heartfelt, thoughtful gifts are great but for some friends or family members, that’s just not an option. We all know that one person that will appreciate the gift of a good laugh over anything else.
Luckily, Amazon has made it easy to score hilarious gifts for very cheap. Below we’ve rounded up 20 of the dumbest, most useless gifts for any best friend, office joker or comical loved one. From hilarious sticky notes, to unicorn farts and appropriately sized wine glasses, here are our favorite useless gifts on Amazon right now.
1. Knock Knock WTF Nifty Notes
Sometimes, regular post-it notes aren’t poignant enough. Add some structure when sending a coworker, roommate or friend a note with these hilarious WTF notes. They all begin with the gripping bold print at the top –– “WTF” –– and have some options below such as “…is up?” or “…is wrong with me?” They’re helpful for anyone but especially good for giftees that have some problematic people in their lives.
2. The Screaming Goat
Screaming goats are an internet niche that never gets old. Bring it to life for any screaming-goat fanatic with this mini goat and illustrated pocketbook. When pushed, the little figurine gives a scream that’s sure to cause some laughter in the room. Plus, the book has some completely useless images and information about the screaming farm animals.
3. Bag of Unicorn Farts Cotton Candy
Why gift regular cotton candy when it could be rebranded as unicorn farts? This delicious treat comes in a hilarious bag that’s sure to get some cackles at white elephant parties or holiday events, making it a great addition to potlucks or dinner parties. Plus, 10% of proceeds go to charities supporting children with neurodiversity, so you’re spreading holiday cheer…and tasty unicorn farts.
4. Portable Pizza Pouch
If you know any certified pizza addicts, they’ll get a good laugh (and possibly some use) out of this pizza pouch. The triangle-shaped pouch hangs around your neck, providing a quick-access compartment for your favorite cheesy slice. Wear it to a holiday party and have seconds at-the-ready, or take a slice to-go.
5. Awkward Family Photos
Family photos can be a good way to capture your loved ones all together…but they can also go horribly wrong. This highly comical book captures all of the latter photos with family pictures that might have been a good idea but turned out bad. Inside, you’ll find painful haircuts, cringe-worthy poses and more. As far as coffee table books go, it doesn’t get much funnier than this.
6. Rayki Beerbelly Dad Bag
This clever fanny pack is disguised as a trendy dad gut that’s been enlarged with a few decades of beer-drinking. It’s very realistic looking to fool anyone, and waterproof to keep the contents safe. We recommend it for carrying valuables, a few cold ones into the concert or just making your friends laugh.
7. BigMouth Inc Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass
We all have those days when a normal glass of wine just isn’t enough. For those kinds of evenings, break out this witty “Ultimate” wine glass (that’s really a whole bottle). The top is shaped like a wine glass so you can sort of be drinking “a glass,” and the front features a cheeky message.
8. Smack a Sack
Wine might relieve stress, but a healthier alternative is this anti-stress ball sack. Place the two included foam balls in the leather sack, close the velcro opening, grip the top, and smack away. It makes a great gift for any stress-case with a sense of humor and has a surprisingly good build quality for some serious smacking.
9. Pooping Pooches 2020 Calendar
What is it about dogs pooping that makes us stare? We don’t know. But we do know that you can see a new pooch doing their business every month with this funny Pooping Pooches calendar. It makes a great gift for dog lovers who might already have a regular dog calendar, because chances are they haven’t seen this one.
10. Lhedon Burrito Tortilla Blanket
If you or someone you know has ever wanted to be wrapped up like a burrito, this tortilla blanket is a must-have. The round blanket is made of comfortable flannel and it’s large enough to cover two people within its 71-inch diameter. Use it as a funny sofa blanket, a travel go-to, a kids’ room addition, or anything else you can think of.
11. Pizza Socks
Socks are a gifting staple, but these pizza socks are much more entertaining than plain old tube socks. They come in an actual pizza box and feature pizza prints with crust at the top and different flavors on the rest. It makes a perfect gift for white elephant parties because the participants will be sure it’s a box of ‘za, and be surprised to find socks inside.
12. Hot Sauce Gift Box
Hot sauce can sometimes cause…a fast trip to the bathroom. This funny hot sauce gift box plays with that joke, calling itself a “Shitty Gift Box.” It’ll get a good laugh, but you’ll actually find some delicious –– yet hilariously labeled –– hot sauces inside. Give it to any hot sauce aficionado (they’re spicy enough to test anyone) or joker on your gift list.
13. Bob Ross Toaster
Instructional painter Bob Ross has become an odd meme on the internet, so why not throw his face on your toast? This unique, completely useless toaster lets you do just that by burning Bob’s iconic mug right onto your bread. Your giftee can enjoy the face every morning with their coffee and eggs or serve up some laughs for guests at breakfast.
14. Close Up Gift of Nothing
When literally giving someone nothing isn’t an option, give them the gift of nothing. Some people might consider it poetic, but most will just laugh. And then, of course, there are some people that might actually deserve it.
15. Accoutrements Hand Finger Puppets
We’ve all wished our fingers each had a hand of their own, and now they can! For less than $10, you get a set of ten hand finger puppets that look pretty funny, and don’t do anything else. OK, they do make for some great pictures as well.
16. Accoutrements Men’s Handerpants
Have you ever felt naked under your gloves? Probably not, but now there’s handerpants –– the underpants for your hands. They protect your hands from chafing, and are sure to get a laugh every time you whip off your gloves.
17. Accoutrements Yodeling Pickle
Yodeling is okay, and pickles are okay, but together they make something exceptionally useless. Push a button on the top and enjoy a serenade from nobody’s favorite food. It makes a great gift because your giftee almost certainly doesn’t have one.
18. Comfort Smart Fire Crackler Sound System
This fire crackler sound system makes the perfect edition to electric fireplaces by providing that romantic wood-burning crackling sound. Or, just have it by your bedside to give you the illusion of having a warm fire to coax you to sleep.
19. Baby Mop
Roomba too expensive? Put your baby to work with this onesie mop outfit instead. The baby can go about their normal crawling and scooching business, but your floors will be sparkling clean.
20. Sparkle Farts Unicorn Plush
Another completely useless but wonderful gift is this farting unicorn plush named Sparkle Farts. Squeeze Sparkle Fart’s taco for phrases like “Do you want to see how rainbows are made?” and a symphony of unicorn farts.