Sometimes the best gifts are totally useless. Sure, heartfelt, thoughtful gifts are great, but for some friends or family members, that’s just not an option. We all know that one person that will appreciate the gift of a good laugh over anything else. The best gag gifts may seem like silly throwaway presents at first, but what you’re really giving is the gift of laughter.
Luckily, online retailers like Amazon, Target and Urban Outfitters have made it easy to score hilarious gifts at wildly affordable prices. Below we’ve rounded up 39 of the dumbest, most useless gifts for any best friend, office jokester or comically-inclined loved one. From hilarious sticky notes to farting unicorns and inappropriately sized wine glasses, here are the best funny gifts to buy right now.
1. Mini Violin
Maybe your friend cracked their phone (for the seventh time). Maybe their delivered burrito didn’t include guacamole. There are endless uses for playing the world’s tiniest violin, and now you can actually pretend to play a real tiny violin to get the point across. This mini violin measures three inches in length and includes a bow and functioning case. Break this out at work, parties or anywhere with friends and you’re sure to get a laugh.
2. Danny DeVito Pillow Cover
Hasn’t everyone wished they could rest their head on Danny DeVito’s face? No? Well, in any case, now you can. This ridiculous pillow cover features the comedian’s hilarious grin and a sequin construction that makes it all the more absurd. It’s perfect for any fan of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but also makes a great gag gift for just about anyone. At first, this looks like a normal pillow, but when you run your hand over the sequins, the comedian’s grinning face appears. For any DeVito fans in your life, this is one of the best gag gifts money can buy.
3. TUSHY Spa Premium Warm Water Bidet Attachment
While this isn’t necessarily a gag gift, it’s also not anything your buddies will ever see coming. No matter the pal, gift them the TUSHY warm water bidet attachment for their toilet. It’s honestly a really nice gift to give, but it also has that subtle institutional undertone.
4. Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Dad Jokes
Dad jokes are cringe-worthy, dumb and cheesy. But, we love them all the same. This little book compiles a few great dad jokes for your old man to reference if his personal dad joke well ever runs dry. Inside you’ll find eye-rollers like “what does a spy wear on his feet? Sneakers.” Yea, they’re all that bad. In other words, it’s perfect for Father’s Day or dad’s birthday.
5. Mini Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy
Who doesn’t love the giant wacky inflatable tube guy outside of car dealerships? Now you can have a mini version on your desk, shelf or coffee table. This small version of the famous flailer stands 18 inches tall and comes supported by an included battery-powered fan. The guy also comes with a 32-page mini book that delves into the origins of the wacky character. Amazon reviewers are big fans, with one even saying he found “a friend for life” in this little red weirdo.
6. Poop Emoji Farting Plush Toy
This might be the only dog toy that your friends will like as much as your pooch. It’s a four-inch poop emoji, complete with big eyes and a smile, that actually makes fart sounds when squeezed. Even if you don’t have a dog, the farting poop plush makes a hilarious (and utterly useless) gag gift for any friend with a perfectly immature sense of humor.
7. Rubber Chicken Slingshot
Who said chickens couldn’t fly? These small rubber chickens can be shot across the room with your finger, meaning they are the office toy you’ve been waiting for. Place the head on your index finger, pull the tail back, and then let the little chicken fly. For $10 you get a pack of 10 chickens, making them a great gag for any party or office shenanigans. Reviewers say they work very well, and even have a decent range.
8. Star Wars 2-Slice Toaster
With Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker wrapping up the latest Star Wars trilogy, everyone is looking for merchandise. This Star Wars 2-slice toaster is one of the more unique (and more ridiculous) pieces of Star Wars merch on the market. It’s reasonably-priced for Star Wars merch and completely usable… if your giftee isn’t afraid of being called a Class-A Star Wars geek.
9. Mean Girls Mini Burn Book + Magnet Set
We all have that friend who’s an unapologetic Mean Girls fan through and through. For good reason, too, the movie slaps. This magnet set is the perfect snag to gift any Mean Girls fanatic — they’ll be covering their fridge in their favorite quotes and spewing phrases from their mini Burn Book in no time.
10. Knock Knock WTF Nifty Notes
Sometimes, regular post-it notes aren’t poignant enough. Add some structure when sending a coworker, roommate or friend a note with these hilarious WTF notes. They all begin with the gripping bold print at the top –– “WTF” –– and have some options below such as “…is up?” or “…is wrong with me?” They’re helpful for anyone but especially good for giftees that have some problematic people in their lives.
11. Anti-Trump Trump-Scented Candle
You’re probably thinking, this must smell like shit, right? Thankfully, it doesn’t, but it is a hilarious, soy-blended gift to gift any Democrat or Republican (with a sense of humor, that is). Dems will love this for the sheer fact that they have control over Trump’s little, disgusting toupe on their desk at all times. Republicans will love this because they will think that this Anti-Trump Trump-scented candle isn’t anti-Trump, but pro-Trump. That in itself is pretty gag-worthy.
12. The Screaming Goat
Screaming goats is an internet cliche that never gets old, and this little guy is consistently one of the best funny gifts for sale online. Bring it to life for any screaming-goat fanatic with this mini goat and illustrated pocketbook. When pushed, the little figurine gives a scream that’s sure to cause some laughter in the room. Plus, the book has some completely useless images and information about the screaming farm animals.
13. Bag of Unicorn Farts Cotton Candy
Why gift regular cotton candy when it could be rebranded as unicorn farts? This delicious treat comes in a hilarious bag that’s sure to get some cackles at white elephant parties or holiday events, making it a great addition to potlucks or dinner parties. Plus, 10% of proceeds go to charities supporting children with neurodiversity, so you’re spreading holiday cheer… and tasty unicorn farts.
14. Portable Pizza Pouch
If you know any certified pizza addicts, they’ll get a good laugh (and possibly some use) out of this pizza pouch. The triangle-shaped pouch hangs around your neck, providing a quick-access compartment for your favorite cheesy slice. Wear it to a holiday party and have seconds at the ready, or take a slice to go. It’s undoubtedly one of the best gag gifts for pizza lovers (which means everyone).
15. Awkward Family Photos
Family photos can be a good way to capture your loved ones all together…but they can also go horribly wrong. This highly comical book captures all of the latter with family pictures that might have been a good idea but turned out horribly wrong. Inside, you’ll find painful haircuts, cringe-worthy poses and more. As far as coffee table books go, it doesn’t get much funnier than this.
16. Rayki Beerbelly Dad Bag
This clever fanny pack is disguised as a trendy dad gut that’s been enlarged with a few decades of beer drinking. It’s realistic enough to fool anyone and is also waterproof to keep the contents safe. We recommend it for carrying valuables, a few cold ones into the concert or just making your friends laugh.
17. Guzzle Buddy Wine Bottle Glass
We all have those days when a normal glass of wine just isn’t enough. For those kinds of evenings, break out this witty “Ultimate” wine glass (that’s really a whole bottle). The top is shaped like a wine glass so you can sort of be drinking “a glass,” when in reality we both know damn well that ain’t the case.
18. Gay Porn DVD Club Gag Postcard
Stir some drama in the household with a gift that will surely begin in a family fight. Throw this in his mailbox and make sure his wife is the one getting the mail that morning. When she does, post up outside and spill the beans before it gets a little too heated. It will be a wildly entertaining morning in your buddy’s household, that’s for sure.
19. Urban Outfitters Toilet Game
We’re all a bit at fault when it comes to sitting on the toilet for longer than we need to. Sometimes we’re just lazy, no big deal. If you’ve got a friend who’s in the same boat, this toilet game will keep him sitting for hours on end catching little fish from his make-belief pond. It’s half a sight we’d love to see and half something we never want to at all.
20. Smack a Sack
Wine might relieve stress, but a healthier alternative is this anti-stress ball sack. Place the two included foam balls in the leather sack, close the velcro opening, grip the top, and smack away. It makes a great gift for any stress-case with a sense of humor and has a surprisingly good build quality for some serious smacking.
21. Pooping Pooches 2020 Calendar
What is it about dogs pooping that makes us stare? We don’t know. But we do know that you can see a new pooch doing their business every month with this funny Pooping Pooches calendar. It makes a great gift for dog lovers who might already have a regular dog calendar because chances are they haven’t seen this one. Even though 2020 is finally nearing its end, better late than never, right?
22. Senior Citizen Safety Vest
Friend’s aging up? Poke a little fun at their age with this senior citizen safety vest that you can force them to wear at the bars. Ensure he throws it on every single time he leaves the house so people know how old he’s getting. It’s just because you want to keep him safe! No other reason.
23. Lhedon Burrito Tortilla Blanket
If you or someone you know has ever wanted to be wrapped up like a burrito, this tortilla blanket is a must-have. The round blanket is made of comfortable flannel and it’s large enough to cover two people within its 71-inch diameter. Use it as a funny sofa blanket, a travel accessory, a kid’s room addition, or anything else you can think of. While there are other designs available (pizza, for instance), this burrito blanket is one of our favorite funny gifts on Amazon.
24. 50 Cocks That Won’t Disappoint – A Chicken Lovers Cookbook
Mmmmmm chicken! Gotta love it. This appropriately-named cookbook is an ideal staple to any cook’s kitchen. Delicious, family-friendly recipes fill every page! This is a total must-gift cookbook for your grandmother, she’s absolutely going to love the recipes inside.
25. Pizza Socks
Socks are a gifting staple, but these pizza socks are much more entertaining than plain old tube socks. They come in an actual pizza box and feature pizza prints with crust at the top and different flavors on the rest. It makes a perfect gift for white elephant parties because the participants will be sure it’s a box of ‘za, and be surprised to find socks inside.
26. Game of Queens: A Drag Queen Card Race
She already done had herses! For any drag queen fanatics out there, the Game of Queens is an exciting, unexpected little gift to snag someone. Pitch queen against queen and decide who’s best at what. While it’s not necessarily a gag gift the gag in itself is the fact that something as specific as this even exists in the first place. Your drag-obsessed friend will love it.
27. Hot Sauce Gift Box
Hot sauce can sometimes cause…a fast trip to the bathroom. This funny hot sauce gift box plays with that joke, calling itself a “Shitty Gift Box.” It’ll get a good laugh, but you’ll actually find some delicious –– and hilariously labeled –– hot sauces inside. Give it to any hot sauce aficionado (they’re spicy enough to test anyone) or joker on your gift list.
28. Mail a Potato Face
Imagine this: you head out to your mailbox one morning and there’s a package you weren’t expecting. What a nice surprise! Until you open it, look at its contents and discover — it’s a potato with your face on it. Is this a weird way to learn there’s a hit out on you? Not this time. It’s just one of your friends messing with you. Anonymously send a potato clad with a person’s face on it to anyone that might kick out of it. We don’t suggest that they eat it or anything afterward. Choose to ship in a few days for a special occasion or ASAP.
29. Bob Ross Bobblehead
Instructional painter Bob Ross has become an odd meme on the internet, so why not have him around in bobblehead form? This mini version of the famous afro-ed painter stands at 4 inches tall and talks with 10 different wise sayings from Bob Ross. It makes a great addition to any art studio or desk, giving you the creative guidance necessary for getting stuff done. It also includes a booklet with 30 Bob Ross landscapes to pour over for inspiration.
30. Close Up Gift of Nothing
When literally giving someone nothing isn’t an option, give them the gift of nothing. Some people might consider it poetic, but most will just laugh. And then, of course, there are some people that might actually deserve it.
31. Yolococa 10 Pieces Finger Puppet
We’ve all wished our fingers each had a hand of their own, and now they can! For just $10, you get a set of 10 hand finger puppets that look outrageous on your fingers. Aside from that, they do absolutely nothing else. Okay, they do make for some great pictures as well.
32. Flyby Alcohol Recovery Pills
We’ve all got a buddy who can overdo it from time to time and hangovers are no joke. That friend really deserves these hangover pills if they’ve got somewhere to head the morning after a long night out. And we mean loooooong night out. You know those nights in particular. These Flyby alcohol recovery pills are a funny gift to hint that sometimes, your pal needs to cool it a bit. Nonetheless, they’ll come in handy when he needs them most.
33. Bag of Dicks
Have a buddy you love to death but really needs to F off sometimes? Give him what he deserves — a bag of dicks. Straight from dicksbymail.com, send this bag of dicks directly to his home and even add glitter or penis confetti for the extra shabang. It’s a hilarious yet delicious way to get your point across.
34. Accoutrements Men’s Handerpants
Have you ever felt naked under your gloves? Probably not, but now there are handerpants –– the underpants for your hands. They protect your hands from chafing and are sure to get a laugh every time you whip off your gloves.
35. Accoutrements Yodeling Pickle
Yodeling is okay, and pickles are okay, but together they make something exceptionally useless. Push a button on the top and enjoy a serenade from nobody’s favorite food. It makes a great gift because your giftee almost certainly doesn’t have one.
36. Comfort Smart Fire Crackler Sound System
This fire crackler sound system makes the perfect edition to electric fireplaces by providing that romantic wood-burning crackling sound. Or, just have it by your bedside to give you the illusion of having a warm fire to coax you to sleep. Either way, it makes a totally useless and hilarious gift.
37. Baby Mop
Roomba too expensive? Put your baby to work with this onesie mop outfit instead. The baby can go about their normal crawling and scooching business, but your floors will be sparkling clean.
38. LUCKYERMORE 5.5ft Christmas Tree Upside Down
In charge of getting the Christmas tree this year? If you’re looking to gag your own family, snag this upside-down Christmas tree and confuse the hell out of your household. Little kids will think you’re a magician or maybe even Mr. Claus himself. For just $40, it’s totally worth the buy.
39. Sparkle Toots Unicorn Plush
Another completely useless but wonderful gift is this farting unicorn plush named Sparkle Toots. Squeeze Sparkle Toot’s taco for phrases like “Do you want to see how rainbows are made?” and then listen as it belts out a symphony of unicorn farts.