Chocolate hearts and pink roses are all fine and good for those who are into that kind of thing. However, if romance isn’t your thing, it can be a special kind of torture finding Valentine’s Day gifts. For that reason, we rounded up the best gifts for people who hate Valentine’s Day.
There’s a lot of reasons why someone may not be into Valentine’s Day. Perhaps they are just not romantic or find those traditional symbols of love to be rather cheesy. Or maybe they are not in a relationship and find the holiday, in general, to be rather uncomfortable or a painful reminder.
Regardless of the reason that someone may hate Valentine’s Day, there are lots of ways to celebrate them this holiday. Honor the day with one of the best gifts for people who hate Valentines’ Day. They come with a whole lot of creativity, fun, and, of course, plenty of snark!
1. Candy Hearts by Tommy Siegel
Candy Hearts is a hilarious and rather relatable look into the lives of personified candy hearts and how they really feel about dating and romance. From the awkwardness of flirting during a pandemic to the stress of dating profiles, this feels a lot more real than we’d expect from a cartoon about candy hearts. Complete with a special Candy Hearts sticker set in the back, this book is the perfect anti-Valentine’s Day gift.
2. UnHide Marshmallow Blanket
This luxurious, weighted blanket is the perfect gift for the one who HATES Valentine’s Day. It’s still a sweet gesture yet doesn’t show any sign of love or romance. They can snuggle up on the couch and read their book or watch their show to help; forget about the terrible holiday.
3. M.M.LaFleur Passport Holder
This is a unique gift for people that hate Valentine’s day that people do not even know they need. They can store their passport, as well as credit cards, ID, and vaccination card, and take themselves on an exotic vacation. No partner required!
If they plan on drinking away the holiday (we’ve been there), this makes sure their wine is at the perfect temperature. Just pop off the cradle and place it in the freezer for three hours before using. If they love wine and hate Valentine’s Day, they’ll love this gift!
5. Break the Heart Chocolate Pizza With Mallet
We really hate cupid, and sometimes, it feels good to work out that hatred. What is better than breaking a heart? We mean a chocolate heart, of course. This chocolate heart arrives with a wooden mallet, so go ahead and get all that angst out. This solid milk chocolate heart is made by Sugar Plum, topped with chocolate candies and a white chocolate drizzle. So when you are done with all the breaking, you’ll have a delicious sweet treat!
6. Anti Valentine’s T-Shirt
This is really fun for the person who either is way more into video games than any other human or is passing the holiday by just forgetting Valentine’s and playing video games.
7. Grumpy Valentine’s Day Card
No one wants to be a hater, but this is just the right amount of grumpy to survive the season of hearts and flowers.
8. Love Is a Reciprocal Torture Cross-Stitch Pattern
Do you hate Valentine’s Day? Obviously. You are reading this story. This cross stitch is ideal for the artist or the creative mind who just wants to have a bit of silly fun while enjoying a day of solitude.
Love Is A Reciprocal Torture Marcel Proust Subversive Funny Valentines Day Cross Stitch
9. Revenge Voodoo Doll
OK, some people are just a bit bitter, and they will love this gift for people who hate Valentine’s Day! Even if they don’t actually believe in voodoo, this will be a really fun way to pretend and let their imagination flow.
10. Tamworth Distilling Corpse Flower Brandy
Corpse Flower Brandy is dedicated (sort of ) to the death of love, making it perfect for the anti-Valentine’s day friend. The Corpse Flower Durian Fruit Brandy is distilled with indole and the famously stinky durian fruit, which is also known as the “corpse flower.” The notes are fun and funky, perfect for the imbiber who’s sick of all the typical, sweet-and-sappy flavors that surround the noted Hallmark holiday.
11. Male Tears Mug
This mug literally says “Male Tears.” It’s an early warning sign to step back and makes an excellent gift for someone who loves being single or who just wants to break your heart!
12. Naot Footwear Men’s Laze Slippers
Since they’re so supportive, warm and plush, you can wear them all day and still never want to take them off. They make the perfect gift for cozying up and forgetting what (holi)day it is.
13. Big Blanket Co’s Original Stretch Blanket
It’s THE biggest and best blanket for rolling yourself up into a human burrito for a big night in (who likes crowded restaurants on V-Day, anyways?).