The Best Valentine’s Gifts for People Who Hate Valentine’s Day

Break the Heart Chocolate Pizza with Mallet
Courtesy of Uncommon Goods

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Chocolate hearts and pink roses are all fine and good for those who are into that kind of thing. However, if romance isn’t your thing, it can be a special kind of torture finding Valentine’s Day gifts. For that reason, we rounded up the best gifts for people who hate Valentine’s Day.

There’s a lot of reasons why someone may not be into Valentine’s Day. Perhaps they are just not romantic or find those traditional symbols of love to be rather cheesy. Or maybe they are not in a relationship and find the holiday, in general, to be rather uncomfortable or a painful reminder.

Regardless of the reason that someone may hate Valentine’s Day, there are lots of ways to celebrate them this holiday. Honor the day with one of the best gifts for people who hate Valentines’ Day. They come with a whole lot of creativity, fun, and, of course, plenty of snark!

  

1. Candy Hearts by Tommy Siegel

Candy Hearts is a hilarious and rather relatable look into the lives of personified candy hearts and how they really feel about dating and romance. From the awkwardness of flirting during a pandemic to the stress of dating profiles, this feels a lot more real than we’d expect from a cartoon about candy hearts. Complete with a special Candy Hearts sticker set in the back, this book is the perfect anti-Valentine’s Day gift.

Candy Hearts by cartoonist Tommy Siegel Courtesy of Amazon

  

2. UnHide Marshmallow Blanket

This luxurious, weighted blanket is the perfect gift for the one who HATES Valentine’s Day. It’s still a sweet gesture yet doesn’t show any sign of love or romance. They can snuggle up on the couch and read their book or watch their show to help; forget about the terrible holiday.

UnHide Marshmallow Blanket Courtesy of unHide

  

3. M.M.LaFleur Passport Holder

This is a unique gift for people that hate Valentine’s day that people do not even know they need. They can store their passport, as well as credit cards, ID, and vaccination card, and take themselves on an exotic vacation. No partner required!

M.M.LaFleur Passport Holder Courtesy of M.M.LaFleur

  

4. VoChill

If they plan on drinking away the holiday (we’ve been there), this makes sure their wine is at the perfect temperature. Just pop off the cradle and place it in the freezer for three hours before using. If they love wine and hate Valentine’s Day, they’ll love this gift!

VoChill Courtesy of Amazon

  

5. Break the Heart Chocolate Pizza With Mallet

We really hate cupid, and sometimes, it feels good to work out that hatred. What is better than breaking a heart? We mean a chocolate heart, of course. This chocolate heart arrives with a wooden mallet, so go ahead and get all that angst out. This solid milk chocolate heart is made by Sugar Plum, topped with chocolate candies and a white chocolate drizzle. So when you are done with all the breaking, you’ll have a delicious sweet treat!

Break the Heart Chocolate Pizza with Mallet Courtesy of Uncommon Goods

  

6. Anti Valentine’s T-Shirt

This is really fun for the person who either is way more into video games than any other human or is passing the holiday by just forgetting Valentine’s and playing video games.

Anti-Valentine's Tshirt Courtesy of Amazon
  

7. Grumpy Valentine’s Day Card

No one wants to be a hater, but this is just the right amount of grumpy to survive the season of hearts and flowers.

Grumpy Valentine's Day Card Courtesy of Etsy

  

8. Love Is a Reciprocal Torture Cross-Stitch Pattern

Do you hate Valentine’s Day? Obviously. You are reading this story. This cross stitch is ideal for the artist or the creative mind who just wants to have a bit of silly fun while enjoying a day of solitude.

Love is a Reciprocal Torture Cross-Stitch Pattern Courtesy of Amazon

  

9. Revenge Voodoo Doll

OK, some people are just a bit bitter, and they will love this gift for people who hate Valentine’s Day! Even if they don’t actually believe in voodoo, this will be a really fun way to pretend and let their imagination flow.

revenge voodoo doll Courtesy of Amazon

  

10. Tamworth Distilling Corpse Flower Brandy

Corpse Flower Brandy is dedicated (sort of ) to the death of love, making it perfect for the anti-Valentine’s day friend. The Corpse Flower Durian Fruit Brandy is distilled with indole and the famously stinky durian fruit, which is also known as the “corpse flower.” The notes are fun and funky, perfect for the imbiber who’s sick of all the typical, sweet-and-sappy flavors that surround the noted Hallmark holiday.

Tamworth Distilling Corpse Flower Brandy Courtesy of Seelbach's
  

11. Male Tears Mug

This mug literally says “Male Tears.” It’s an early warning sign to step back and makes an excellent gift for someone who loves being single or who just wants to break your heart!

Male Tears Mug Courtesy of Amazon

  

12. Naot Footwear Men’s Laze Slippers

Since they’re so supportive, warm and plush, you can wear them all day and still never want to take them off. They make the perfect gift for cozying up and forgetting what (holi)day it is.

Naot Footwear Men's Laze Slippers Courtesy of Naot Footwear

  

13. Big Blanket Co’s Original Stretch Blanket

It’s THE biggest and best blanket for rolling yourself up into a human burrito for a big night in (who likes crowded restaurants on V-Day, anyways?).

Big Blanket Co's Original Stretch Blanket Courtesy of Amazon