Oh, Marriage. What a lark. Or at least it is for the groomsmen. They get to hang out with their best friends, go on wild adventures and mess around pretending to be important on the wedding day. But do you know what can make the wedding day even better? Socks. Remember kids, you can never have too many socks, especially humorous ones.
When reading through this list of jovial foot fabric, remember: you are, in essence, spreading wedding joy, adding to the fun of the event and putting a smile (or an eye-roll) on people’s faces. And you’re doing it all with the small bit of cloth sitting between your shoes and your pants.
P. S. here’s a guide if you want to take your socks seriously. But, let’s have a bit of fun, right?
1. STANCE Step Brothers Socks
BEST OVERALL
These socks have been given the best overall award simply because they are the only ones that legitimately brought on a smile. Being a groomsman at a wedding is much like becoming someone’s stepbrother, you move onto the ladder of familial relation and will share that for the rest of your lives. Also, if you wear these socks, you will have two gargantuan spirits of comedy (Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly), beaming out from your ankles to guide you in making all the best quips, japes and giggles on your big comedic day.
2. THE CIRCLE GAME SOCKS
BEST PRANK SOCK
The circle game, ah, the circle game, what fond juvenile memories. Relive your boisterous formative days as you slyly pull up your pants while grinning and trying to catch other people’s eyes. When they glance down at your nauseatingly purple sock, you can punch them in the shoulder. Endless fun.
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3. COLORFUT Men’s 12 Pairs Dress Socks
BEST RANGE
If you’re looking to get all of your groomsmen socks in one fell swoop, this pack of 12 from Colorfut is a great choice. Featuring a range of colors with anything from martini glasses and olives to beer mugs and wine glasses, these are sure to put a smile on any avid drinkers in your crew. What’s more, if your groomsmen weren’t already in the drinking mindset prior to the festivities, they will be when you gift them these socks.
4. YUMILY Men’s Funny Dress Socks
BEST FOR COMIC LOVERS
Although not everyone will find it immediately hilarious, per se, these will spark funny conversations when it comes to deciding who will be wearing which sock. “Dan is definitely a Batman, just look at his ears,” and the alpha will proclaim his right to the “Superman” sock, etc. Also, the multi-pack form makes it easy, affordable and a painless procedure to buy for everyone.
5. SUTTOS Men’s Socks
BEST EXAGGERATEDLY MUSHY
Mushy to the point of revulsion, these socks are a great way to force your best friends to do something embarrassing on your wedding day. After all, they did agree to be your groomsmen, which pretty much means you can have them wear whatever lame style of gear you want. The bridge will love it and you’ll never get tired of seeing the defeated look on your friends’ faces when they realize you’re not joking.
6. BOLD SOCKS Red White Candy Cane Custom Face Socks
BEST INDIVIDUALISED SOCKS
Give your groomsman a personalized token of their love for you. These are sure to bring out laughs, especially if that photo is awful and embarrassing. They are perfect for a winter wedding (this side of Christmas) for a merry dig. They also come in two sizes so the fit will be excellent for all.
7. SOLMATES Amber Sky Recycled Cotton Multicolour Odd-Socks
BEST GREEN CHOICE
For a wacky and colorful option that is sure to be at least eye-catching, these socks from Solmates are a good bet. They come in 62% recycled cotton and meet the Oeko-Tex standard meaning they are free from potentially harmful substances. Step outside conventions and do right by the planet by gifting your groomsmen these socks for the big day.
8. GUMBALL POODLE Groomsman Socks
BEST FOR FORGETFUL GUESTS
For the groomsmen who will likely forget their duties the moment they pull up to the open bar, these socks are a must. All quips aside, John’s Crazy Socks are an incredible company that put 5% of earnings towards Special Olympics. Every package comes with a note from John, and over half the employees have a differing ability. That’s a cause worth wearing stupid socks for.
9. BLUE Q Ringmaster of The Shit Show Socks
BEST SELF-DEPRECATING
It’s a relatable sentiment, isn’t it? Because we are all just the ringmasters of our own shit show. It also has the double-entendre of relating to the unfolding nuptials (or, hopefully not). And actually, you can pretty much wear these for any outing and have it connect. So if you’re looking for a pair of socks your friends won’t immediately toss after the wedding, this is a great pair.
10. FOOT TRAFFIC Bright Mosaic Sock’s
MOST JARRING SOCK
The sheer cringeworthy brightness of these mosaic socks will garner a few smiles and chuckles throughout the day. Plus, if you are a groom, it is a wonderful thing to be able to ruin their suiting outfit with one crushing and subtle swoop. These will certainly get noticed.